September 19-My name is Charlie. I saw a flyer saying that a local research institute is paying big money for volunteers. Since the place is only half a mile out of my way home from work, I figured I would see what's up. I found out they're paying $200 a week to watch me play video games. I've never bothered with games too much, but for $200 a week I can learn. It's only an hour a day after work. Maybe now I'll finally be able to afford an engagement ring for my girlfriend Alice Kinian.
The doctors said I should keep a journal so they can monitor my thoughts during the gaming analysis. Anyway, I guess I'll talk about myself. I like reading and enjoy staying afloat of current events. I'm not a health nut, but I try to hit the gym on weekends. Nothing else to say right now.
Progress Report 2September 20-At the institute, I played FreeCell for an hour. I won a few games, but it's not really my thing. In fact, it's kind of boring. When they said I'd be playing video games, I thought they meant the new Nintendo or something. Oh well. It's still getting money.
Progress Report 3
September 25-That institute is crazy. I'm think of getting out of the experiment. They had some mouse named Algernon that is amazing at games. They showed me how good he was at mazes, but they can smell the cheese. People have been running mice through mazes for years. I did that for my fifth grade science project.
Then they showed me how good he was at FreeCell. I don't know what they did, but it's messed up. It's like they're messing with his brain or something. I don't know if I should be involved with a research institute playing God. It's not natural. I told Alice and she agrees with me. I'm pretty sure I'll quit. How is playing video games for an hour helping advance mankind? I'd really like to get Alice something nice with the money though. I'll just do it for a couple more weeks.
Progr3ss Report 4September 27-It was a busy day at work. I got off late and I had to work through lunch. I didn't even have time to stop off for a bite between work and the stupid gaming institute. They told me it was fine and I could have some of their "gamer food." I was kind of dubious at first, but I think Mountain Dew Game Fuel is okay. Those pizza rolls are pretty good too. I wouldn't want to eat like that all the time though. I need to stay in shape, but a soda every now and then won't hurt too much. Besides, I've got to do the Dew. Lowel. The guy next to me said Lowel means I'm laughing out loud.
I was going to say something about the animal testing, but I was busy playing games.
pr0gr355 r3p0r7october 1-i feel kind of stoopid. its not lowel. its lol.
i am really kicking butt at freecell. i even play it when im not at the institute. i started playing minesweeper and solitaire. i had no idea how much i enjoy video games. i'm starting to love mountain dew game fuel too. i still work out every other weekend so its nbd. im getting a win-loss ratio as good as algernon now bichs.
i had such a craving for freecell all day. it wasnt just freecell but the competition aspect that is great about games in general. i couldnt wait to get to the institute and play. i had some more game fuel. im getting scores as high as algernon now bichs.
pr0g355 23p027sup n00bs. i been acing freecell all day. i got the highest win lose ratio in the whole institute. take that algernon. the pwnt has become the pwner. i got my first paycheck. ill get somethign 4 alice l8r. i bought a 360 elite version and more mountain dew game fuel.bsides alice been making fun of me. she said im gettin a pot belly from sitting round gaming all day. she poked it an laffed. =/= teh funny.
pr0gr3ss r3port
been on xbox live all day raining the pwn on on n00bs like no tomorow. gamertag is teh_ninja_force69. been on since 8 am. had to log off cuz i ran out of game fuel. need my energy to get head shots in halo 2. halo 3 soon!!!!1!! n00bs on gamefaqs think there badazz liek me. their assbutts not pwners liek me.
alice is all bothering me about meeting her parents this weekend. wtf. call of duty tournament at eb games this weekend!!!1! cant go home without trophy. alice mentioned my weight agin. shut up bich. had first pimple in years today.
teh institute says my gaming score is amazing or some shit. i dont care cuz im 2 1337 for that place. it is teh sux. aint goin back their no more.
pr0gr355 r3p0r7when the fuck maddox gonna update his page?
pr0gr3ss r3p0rtran out of mountain dew game fuel. had to go to institue. pwned everyone there at freecell SO HORD. even that stoopid algernon. way to lose dumbass.
p20gr355 r3p027
110101010010101010101011111000101010101010101010101010101010100000000011111010101010101011111010101011011101010101010101011101010111110101111111110101010101010100001010101010101010111110000101010111101011011001011110101011010001101010101010101111101000110101011101010100010110110101
dont read binary? i @m on higher plane than u. suck it bichs.
p20g2355 23p027went to institute. they said algernon is all jittery cause of the caffiene in mountain dew game fuel. there going 2 ween him off of it cause its unhealthy or some shit. more 4 me.
pr0g355 23p027found out algernon died from mountain dew game fuel withdraw. PHAIL!!!1!!
movin into my parents basement cuz that bitch alice left me. wtf. i got lara croft and doa volleyball anywayz. fap fap fap.
pr0gr3ss reportoh noes!!!1! mountain dew said there not makin game fuel becuz no one likes it and it aint selling 4 shit. fuk i'm thirsty.
prog3ss rep0rtI went to teh institute and their out of game fuel too. WTF. still thirsty. logged onto xbox live and actually lost 25 deaths to 26. damn. thought the game seemed like a newb and I lost.
progress rep0rtSo I went to the institute to turn in some progr3ss reports. I thought I would show sum people how to get their h4x on in FreeCell. OMGWTF win streak is over!?!
Also I gained like 30 pounds since starting this experiment. I better start hitting the gym a bit more. Better start eating better too. I miss that Mountain Dew Game Fuel, but no sense in letting myself go. I'm only 24.Progress ReportWell, I guess the experiment is over. I don't know what Dr. Nemur expected from me. I got pretty good at video games for a while, but now I'm exactly like I was before. My XBox is gathering dust the past week. I haven't come close to getting my streak on FreeCell again. I don't even enjoy playing it anymore. I'm starting to lose some weight again and my skin has started to clear up. I don't remember much of the experiment, but apparently it made my spelling terrible. Also, why was I so obsessed with the number 1337? My lucky number is Alice's birthday; not 1337.
Speaking of Alice, I should call her. With all the money I got from the experiment, I can take her to a really nice dinner. If I regain some ground, maybe I can get the nerve back to propose. I better take it slowly though because I think I really pissed her off. I'll bring roses to her. While I'm at the flower shop, I'll pick up some flowers for Algernon's grave. I always felt bad for them experimenting on a harmless mouse.
